Unit 4 Working Through Conflicts: Crucial Accountability

Overview

In the last unit, we discovered our preferred conflict mode and maybe the assessment confirmed your level of comfort with conflict. In this unit we will reaffirm the value of healthy conflict and look at accountability and how to have important conversations. We will use the Crucial Accountability Model as described in the book, Crucial Accountability: Tools for resolving violated expectations, broken commitments, and bad behaviour Second Edition (Patterson et. al, 2013). Through this model, we will review how to decide when important conversations need to be had, how to have them and how to follow up.

Topics

This unit is divided into the following topics:

Before the Crucial Accountability conversation
Creating a Safe Environment
During the conversation
Move to action

Learning Outcomes

When you have completed this unit, you should be able to:

Explore strategies for preventing conflict
Examine common conflict resolution strategies that seldom work
Understand five modes of Resolving conflict
Examine strategies to recognize and resolve short- and long-term conflicts among group members and among groups

Activity Checklist

Here is a checklist of learning activities you will benefit from in completing this unit. You may find it useful for planning your work.

Learning Activities

Watch video “Accountability is Relational Responsibility” and reflect on the questions provided.
Read the article “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” to find answers to the questions provided.
Familiarize yourself with the Crucial Accountability Model.
Review the model summary “Crucial accountability – Part 2: create safety” and note the similarities with the Behavioural Process Model.
Read the article “7 signs you’re dealing with a micromanager (and how to manage them)” by Aimee Brougham-Chandler.

Note that the learning activities in this course are ungraded, unless specified. They are designed to help you succeed in your assessments in this course, so you are strongly encouraged to complete them

Assessment

Discussion Forum 2 (5%)
Case Study (2.5%)

Resources

Here are the resources you will need to complete this unit.

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., Maxfield, D. & McMillan, R. (2013).Crucial Accountability: Tools for resolving violated expectation, broken commitments, and bad behaviour(2nd ed.). McGraw Hill.
Other online resources will be provided in the unit.

4.1 Before the Crucial Accountability Conversation

Most of us may never find ourselves in a high conflict situation but we are guaranteed to encounter other forms of conflict. That is the nature of being human. We are unique individuals with differing experiences, perspectives, motivations, abilities, personalities, and values and because of those differences, we will find ourselves in conflict, so it is important to find a way to make it a healthy and productive experience rather than avoid it. It is important to note here that what one person considers to be a conflict may be another person’s difference of opinion and can be resolved with good communication. Either way, good communication is critical to moving forward.

For those who are uncomfortable with conflict, the first instinct is to avoid it. In the following videos, Patrick Lencioni explain why we should not avoid conflict in the workplace.

Watch: The Danger of Avoiding Conflict - Patrick Lencioni

Watch: Fear of Conflict

Watch: Avoidance of Accountability

Accountability is synonymous leadership competency. Accountability can be defined as being obligate and answerable for the results of our own actions (Moore, 2021). Another way to consider it is: someone is accountable when their actions are aligned with what is expected of them. When our expectations of how others should act or perform are unmet, it is time to have a crucial conversation (Patterson et al. 2021) and hold them accountable. In our personal and work lives, we need to not only know how to personally be accountable, but how to hold others accountable in order to achieve the results.

Activity: Watch and Reflect

Watch the video “Accountability is Relational Responsibility”, and reflect on the questions provided below it.

Questions to consider

What does accountability mean to you?
To whom are you accountable for your actions?
We have established the case for accountability. Now what?

The first step is determining the need for the conversation. What is the problem? What happened (situation) that has left you frustrated, disappointed or even angry?

Activity: Read and Reflect

When we need to have a difficult conversation, we tell ourselves ugly stories. We confuse intent with impact or results. “How could they do that? They are acting irresponsible. They keep making mistakes and we are losing money.” Or “How could they say that? Didn’t they know it would be hurtful?”

Read the article Don’t Believe Everything You Think to find answers to the following questions:

What are the possible stories?
Are there alternative narratives that can clarify their actions? Your actions?

Activity: Anticipation Guide

To participate in the remaining unit, it is important to familiarize yourself with the CRUCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY MODEL since it will follow this model. Take the time to understand each step of the model and its significance.

4.2 Creating a Safe Environment

Watch : Video Review for Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson

Silence:

When we avoid the conversation that needs to be have, what are we communicating to the other? It is not important. The issue is not important. The work is not important. They are not important. They are irrelevant.

Nothing is more demotivating that feeling like you or what you do is irrelevant. Patrick Lencioni, a famous author and expert on effective teams argues that when an employee feels like what they are doing doesn’t matter, that the work they do is irrelevant, it is demotivating (Lencioni, 2007). When you stay silent about an issue, the other may interpret that as you don’t care and they don’t matter. Especially in the face of the need for accountability.

Silence can also:

Communicate approval of the behavior
Make others feel it is an unfair workplace.
Build up and then explode, leading to violence. When things build to the point of explosion, you can no longer master your story. It is no longer a safe conversation for anyone.

Violence:

On the other side of the diagram is violence. This is not referring to physical violence but rather aggressive language and tone. There is a saying, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” In western culture, the tone of your voice can be threatening and make someone feel unsafe emotionally. However, it is also the words you say. Overuse of the competing conflict style can be violent.

Activity: Read and Compare

Review the model summary “Crucial accountability - Part 2: create safety”

Note the similarities with the Behavioural Process Model.

Activity: Discussion Forum 2 (Graded)

In Unit 2 you were asked to reflect on your last personal argument/disagreement after reviewing the “Communication Model”. To participate in this Discussion Forum,

Briefly describe that crucial conversation and identify at least three elements of the model presented in the course material. It can be a personal or professional example.
Did the conversation happen spontaneously, or did you think and plan it ahead of time?
Did you master your story? If not, what could you have done to master your story?
Did you make it safe? If yes, how? If not, what could you have done differently?

Don’t forget to cite sources and include a reference list.

All information, including specific instructions, rubrics, and dropboxes, are located under the “Assessment” tab.

4.3 During the Conversation

A Crucial conversation- Rebecca Straforelli

The conversation

Once you have established you have the right mindset and you have done the work to understanding what the actual issue is that you are addressing, consider the following guidelines:

Start with safety

You have mutual respect: If you suspect the person will feel offended or defensive, prepare beforehand by explaining what you do and don’t mean.
You have mutual purpose: Build/create mutual purpose: “We both want a healthy work environment, right?”
You have permission: “I have something we need to discuss. Is this a good time? If not, let us book a mutually agreeable time.”
Speak in private.
Avoid inappropriate humour
If there are more people who are affected, don’t attack the group when you really need to address the individual’s infraction.

Share your path. (Path to action model-see/hear-tell a story-feel-act)

No harsh conclusions
Start with the facts, your story. Your observations of their behaviour: Don’t know their thoughts or feelings or motivations, so don’t jump to conclusions.
End with a question to gather their facts: is their story? What happened?

Activity: Case Analysis (Graded)

Read the following workplace conflict scenario and answer the questions: Imagine your team member arrives late for the fourth time in two weeks. You are dependent on them to be there because your job requires both of you to start together.

The first time, you said nothing because they apologized and gave a reason that the bus was late- Silence (you say nothing because it has happened to you before). The second time, you said nothing again because they apologized saying that they missed the bus-Silence (you feel frustrated but say nothing because it seems like bad luck). The third time, you said nothing because they said the bus was late again-Silence (you say nothing because you are very frustrated but don’t want to seem like you are being unreasonable even though you often take an earlier bus to make sure you aren’t late).

The fourth time. You have no power to fire them. You are equal colleagues.

Will you stay silent?
What will you say?

The frustration has built up.

How will you keep it safe for both of you?
What are the steps you will take to master your story?
What will you say? Where will you say it? How will you say it?
How will you follow up?

This activity will be graded. Please refer to the Assessment section for more information about how to submit it.

4.4 Move to Action

The conversation has occurred, you have come to a mutual understanding now comes the accountability part.

What changes need to be made?
Be specific about what you expect.
Be as specific as possible about when you expect it.
Be specific about what will happen if the change doesn’t occur.

Follow-up:

Decide on the frequency and the type of follow-up needed.

Assess risk. How risky/important is this result?
Evaluate the level of trust. How has the person performed in the past?
Determine their competency. How experienced is this person?

Some important points to remember whether it is a friendship, a team or at work.

Never leave the conversation without agreeing to a follow-up plan.
Watch out for the tendency to micro-manage people.
Don’t abandon or neglect people. Nothing says you don’t care about them or holding them accountable like neglect.
Ask them if there is any additional support they would like or need.

Consider the six sources of influence in the last part of the Crucial Accountability Model (Patterson et al, 2013)

1. Personal: - Click here to expand

Have they shown they have the motivation to do well? To improve? To change? Is there a personal benefit for the action? Will it bring pleasure or pain?
Do they have the ability to meet what is expected of them? To improve? To change? Do they have the skill or knowledge they need?

2. Social: - Click here to expand

Is there positive or negative peer pressure that is influencing their motivation?
Are others enabling or disabling them? Are their social structures that affect their ability to do the work?

3. Structural: - Click here to expand

Carrots and Sticks: is the right behaviour rewarded appropriately in your workplace? How do things motivate us? Financial, promotion, job satisfaction? Does the workplace provide what is needed to do the job?

Some important points to remember whether it is a friendship, a team or at work.

Never leave the conversation without agreeing to a follow-up plan.
Watch out for the tendency to micro-manage people.
Don’t abandon or neglect people. Nothing says you don’t care about them or holding them accountable like neglect.
Ask them if there is any additional support they would like or need.

Activity: Read and Think About

Read the article “7 signs you’re dealing with a micromanager (and how to manage them)” by Aimee Brougham-Chandler (2022)

Thoughts on motivation (Patterson et al, 2013 p. 111-116).

Everyone is motivated by something
Motivation is brain driven. People choose their motivation
Motivation can be both internal and external
Don’t rely on power, perks, or charisma to motivate. They won’t work.

“Here’s what motivation comes down to: change other’s view of the consequences and their behaviour will follow” (Patterson et al. 2013, p. 111).

Thoughts on Consequences

Natural Consequences: When our actions result in actions that happened independently of someone making them happen.

For example, if you plagiarize (use others work or copy), you will either do poorly or fail. Your behaviour determines your outcome, not the assignment itself or the professor.

We help people see the consequences of their poor actions by:

Making the invisible visible-we tell them.
We link behaviour to an existing value they say is important to them or is shared. Ie. Honesty or trust or security.
Link behaviour to long-term painful consequences.

Activity: Conflict Scenario (Graded)

Read the article: Crafting Powerful Questions - Mediators Beyond Borders International

Next, read the following conflict scenario and answer the questions presented below:

You love working with everyone else on your team, but there are team members with whom you conflict regularly. Before starting your new job, you knew them outside of work, so you’re familiar with your opposing views. Now, you’re working with them each day introducing the problems again. You’re also concerned that your past relationship might affect your professional performance.

Questions to answer:

What you think is the main issue?
What you think are other issues it could be?
Based on the article “Crafting Powerful Questions”, identify three questions that you could ask of the other person to gain clarity and deepen your understanding of their perspective.

This activity will be graded. Please refer to the Assessment section for more information about it.

Assessment

Discussion Forum 2

In Unit 2 you were asked to reflect on your last personal argument/disagreement after reviewing the “Communication Model”. To participate in this Discussion Forum:

Briefly describe that crucial conversation and identify at least three elements of the model presented in the course material. It can be a personal or professional example.
Did the conversation happen spontaneously, or did you think and plan it ahead of time?
Did you master your story? If not, what could you have done to master your story?
Did you make it safe? If yes, how? If not, what could you have done differently?

Don’t forget to cite sources and include a reference list.

All information, including instructions, rubrics, forums, and Dropboxes are located under the “Assessment” tab.

Unit 4 Summary

In this unit, we have looked at why conflict can be useful and is sometimes necessary at work and in our personal relationships. We examined the crucial accountability model and applied to several different scenarios. An accountability conversation starts with ‘me’ and answering the question, “What is the issue that needs to be addressed?” We identified that the issue is not always clear and it requires ensuring we are telling ourselves the right story about the issue.

We reviewed the Behavioural Process Model to help recognize the importance of examining as a mean to regulate our feelings and behaviours. We linked situation-thought-feel-act to see/hear-tell story-feel-act of the accountability model introduced in the Crucial Accountability textbook. We also learned the value of follow-up which is essentially the accountability part of the process. Never leave the conversation without an agreed upon follow up plan. Finally, we applied the model to a scenario, with an emphasis and asking the right questions to address motivation and ability to follow through on the agreed upon plan.

Checking your Learning

Before you move on to the next unit, you may want to check to make sure that you are able to:

Explore strategies for preventing conflict
Examine common conflict resolution strategies that seldom work
Understand five modes of Resolving conflict
Examine strategies to recognize and resolve short- and long-term conflicts among group members and among groups.

References

Brougham-Chandler, A. (2022, June 2). 7 signs you’re dealing with a micro-manager. Retrieved from https://www.breathehr.com/en-gb/blog/topic/health-and-wellbeing/8-signs-youre-dealing-with-a-micro-manager-and-how-to-manage-them#:~:text=technology%20can%20help-,What%20is%20micromanagement%3F,some%20point%20in%20their%20careers

Moore, T. (2021). Accountability vs. Responsibility: A very short comparison. Retrieved from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/responsibility-vs-accountability-very-short-tom-moore-ph-d-/

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., Maxfield, D. & McMillan, R. (2013).Crucial Accountability:Tools for resolving violated expectation, broken commitments, and bad behaviour(2nd ed.). McGraw Hill.

Patterson, K., Granny, J., Maxfield, D Y McMillan, R.(2021).Crucial Conversations:Tools for Talking when Stakes are High (3rd ed.). McGraw Hill.

Waters, S. (2021, July 14).Intent vs. Impact: A formula for better communication.Retrieved from https://www.betterup.com/blog/intent-vs-impact