Unit 6 Living an Integrated Life
Overview
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We were created to be in relationship with one another. We need each other. Leading is tough work and having a group of trusted family, friends, and colleagues can help us stay focused on our True North. In Unit 6, we continue our study of authentic leadership by examining the importance of having a strong support team. You will have an opportunity to reflect on your own network and examine areas where you might need to grow your support team.
We introduce the concept of mentorship and why it’s so important for us, as leaders, to have good, strong mentors to challenge and support us as we work toward our goals. You will be challenged to think about your own mentorship goals and who can help guide and support you along the way.
In previous units, we’ve looked at our life story, our crucibles, and our values. Living an integrated life brings together all aspects of our life and helps us maintain the balance we need to be effective in all areas. Our support team can help us do just that!
Topics
This unit is divided into the following topics:
- It Takes a Team
- Role and Importance of Mentorship
- Establishing and Maintaining Balance as a Leader
Learning Outcomes
When you have completed this unit, you should be able to:
- Identify/design your personal support team
- Describe the importance of mentorship
- Identify the characteristics of an integrated life
- Examine the various “buckets” in your life (family, professional, personal, and community) and how you balance/integrate them
- Understand how you can stay grounded as a leader
- Analyze how support teams aid in leading an integrated life
Activity Checklist
Here is a checklist of learning activities you will benefit from in completing this unit. You may find it useful for planning your work.
Learning Activities
- Unit Readings and Reflections (60 minutes)
- Read True North, Chapter 7: pages 145-150.
- Respond to the reflection questions in your learning journal.
- Read True North, Chapter 7: pages 145-150.
- Identifying Your Support Team (45 minutes)
- Complete the Who Makes up Your Support Team worksheet.
- Consider the prompting questions and record your thoughts in your learning journal.
- Complete the Who Makes up Your Support Team worksheet.
- Reflections on Mentorship (90 minutes)
- Watch the TED Talk The Science of Mentorship.
- Think about the people that have coached or mentored you in your life and respond to the reflection questions in your learning journal.
- Think about the areas of your leadership you want to develop or strengthen and respond to the prompting questions in your learning journal.
- Watch the TED Talk The Science of Mentorship.
- Unit Readings and Reflections (90 minutes)
- Read True North, Chapter 7.
- Complete the Integrating Your Life worksheet
- Respond to the reflection questions in your learning journal.
- Read True North, Chapter 7.
Assessment
In this course you demonstrate your understanding of the course learning outcomes in various ways. Please see the Assessment section in Moodle for assignment details and due dates.
6.1 It Takes a Team
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Leadership can be lonely, especially when things are not going well and you have no one with whom you can discuss the challenges you are facing. Whom do you talk to when you are feeling vulnerable or insecure? Or when you feel that you are at risk of being exposed as an imposter? Or when your ethics and values are being challenged?
Leadership is hard. It requires energy and commitment. It can use up all the energy you have and still ask for more. Without a support team, leaders are at risk of burning out. In times like these, having a strong support team around you can be invaluable. When you are most in need of finding direction, your support team helps you get back on track. Your support team has faith in you and can help you stay focused on your True North. They keep you grounded in reality and provide the support, counsel, and confidence you need as you move forward.
Having people around you who support you gives you the confidence to listen to your inner voice, even when outsiders are attacking and criticizing you. Your closest confidants give you the resilience to get through hard times and enable you to recognize what is truly important in life. (George, 2015, p. 142)
Your support team is built on long-term relationships and can include your spouse or partner, family members, best friends, mentors, and other close associates. Having these people with whom you can share your deepest concerns ensures you will have support when you need it most. “Your support team can provide affirmation, advice, perspective, suggestions for course corrections, and above all, love” (p. 146).
Ambition and drive can only get you so far. A strong support team can provide you with the resources and emotional support to achieve your long-term goals. There is great wisdom in this African Proverb:
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
Reference:
- George, B. (2015). Discover your true north. John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Activity: Unit Readings and Reflections (60 minutes)
- Read True North, Chapter 7: Pages 145-150.
Respond to the following reflection questions in your learning journal:
- Why do you think having a strong support team is important?
- Has there been a challenging time in your life where you felt alone? What support would have been helpful for you to navigate the challenge?
- Do you find it difficult to reach out for support when you need it? If so, what might help you overcome this?
- What might hold you back from truly opening up to a trusted family member or friend?
Activity: Identifying Your Support Team (45 minutes)
- Complete the worksheet provided to identify the people that make up your support team.
Did you list names for each of the categories of people (family, friends, mentors, close associates) in your worksheet? It’s important to think through the kinds of people you need in your support system and then build it gradually.
Other questions to consider:
- What role has your family of origin played in your development as a leader?
- In what ways have they supported you through difficult challenges and helped you grow?
- Do you have trusted friends with whom you can openly share the challenges you face?
- How important are your friends in helping you become a better leader?
- What kinds of feedback have those in your support network offered to help you improve your leadership skills?
Note that these learning activities are ungraded, but are designed to help you succeed in your assessments in this course.
6.2 Role and Importance of Mentorship
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Have you had a particular teacher, coach, supervisor, or advisor who has been influential in your interest in leadership and your development as a leader? This is your leadership mentor. Leadership mentoring is the key to developing effective leaders! All great leaders have mentors and role models—and they mentor others.
Leadership mentors are the figures in your life who help you develop leadership skills and build your confidence as a leader. Mentors do not necessarily have all the answers for you. Instead, they have the ability to ask probing questions that broaden your perspective on the issues you are facing and serve as a sounding board and reality check when needed.
Mentoring is generally a relationship between someone who has recognized expertise or experience (the mentor) with someone who believes they can learn from this person (the mentee). There is a willingness to share stories, experiences, suggestions, and ideas to grow the career of the mentee.
Mentor Roles
Mentors can play different roles, and you might have different mentors for your different needs. Some common mentor roles include:
- The Challenger: Someone who asks questions to gently push you out of your comfort zone.
- The Cheerleader: Someone who boosts your self-esteem and confidence until you are courageous enough to step over your boundaries.
- The Coach: Someone who provides the knowledge you need to reach your goals.
Mentorship is a Two-Way Street
Mentoring relationships need to go both ways in order to be lasting and mutually beneficial. They provide both the mentor and the person being mentored with opportunities to learn and grow while working toward common goals. The mentor grows their own leadership through the process of developing the mentee.
In Unit 3, you learned about the importance of giving and receiving feedback. Having a mentor means that you are asking someone to give you constant feedback. This feedback will serve you not just in that relationship, but in other situations as well.
Whether mentoring relationships are formal or informal, long-term or short-term, they are powerful connections between two people. Mentors and mentees will talk about many different topics. Some common leadership topics include communication skills, leadership skills, decision-making, self-management, team building, ethics, work/life balance, and organizational culture. It’s important to identify the goals you want to work toward with your mentor. Write down the questions and the topics you want to discuss prior to meeting with your mentor. A bit of planning can go a long way in achieving your mentoring goals!
Activity: Reflections on Mentorship (90 minutes)
Watch the TED Talk Science of Mentorship (14:22 minutes)
Family members, friends, associates, and other members of your support team can sometimes play the role of mentor. Return to the worksheet you completed in Activity 6.2 and add mentor roles/labels (Challenger, Cheerleader, Coach) to each of the people you identified if they play that role in your life. A person could have more than one role. Feel free to add additional roles/labels as appropriate.
Think about the people that have coached or mentored you in your life.
- In what ways has your coach or mentor interacted with you and help develop a skill or your confidence in a certain area?
- How has your coach or mentor’s encouragement and feedback helped you grow?
Now think about the areas of your leadership you want to develop or strengthen.
- What areas in your leadership you do you want to grow or strengthen?
- What are your specific mentorship goals?
- Who are some potential mentors you can reach out to help you meet your goals?
- What fears or worries do you need to let go of to allow you to fully engage in this mentoring relationship?
- What can you contribute to this mentoring relationship?
You can use a chart like this to help organize your thoughts:
| Goals and areas for growth | Potential mentors to help me reach these goals | Barriers (fears, worries) | Strategies to overcome |
|---|---|---|---|
6.3 Establishing and Maintaining Balance as a Leader
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My previous career was demanding and exhausting. There was a time that I prioritized my job over almost everything else, including my family and my faith. I worked long hours trying to get everything done to the point that my health began to suffer. This happened subtly over a long period of time, and eventually, I realized I was not living an integrated life and didn’t have the resilience skills I needed. Leadership is rewarding, though we must take care of ourselves before we can support others.
To lead an integrated life, we need to bring together the major elements of our personal life and professional life, including work, family, community, and friends, so that we can be the same person in each environment (George, 2015). Doing so helps us be more effective in all aspects of our life.
Authentic leaders are aware of the importance of staying grounded. In doing so, they avoid getting too self-confident and conceited during high points and forgetting who they are during low points. Spending time with family and close friends, getting physical exercise, having spiritual practices, doing community service, and returning to places where they grew up are all ways to stay grounded. This grounding is essential to their effectiveness as leaders because it enables them to preserve their authenticity—well-grounded leaders have a steady and confident presence.
Leaders can stay grounded by focusing on what matters, staying true to their roots, and finding time for themselves to reflect and engage in activities and practises that centre themselves and relieve stress.
Reference:
- George, B. (2015). Discover your true north. John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Activity: Unit Readings and Reflections (90 minutes)
- Read True North, Chapter 7: Lead an integrated Life.
Complete the Integrating Your Life worksheet.
Respond to the following reflection questions in your learning journal:
- What do you notice about the “buckets” in your life?
- Which buckets do you need to direct attention to, in order to honour your True North?
- Which of these buckets are you prepared to cut back on in order to make room in your life for one of the buckets that is too empty?
- What actions do you need to take to make this happen?
- What are the most important aspects of your personal life that help you stay grounded?
- How do you set time aside to nurture these aspects?
- How can your support team help you lead an integrated life?
Unit Summary
In this unit, you learned about support teams, why they are important in leadership, and how they can help you stay focused on your True North. Support teams are generally comprised of those closest to you—your spouse/life partner, family member, close friends, mentors, and other close associates. You had an opportunity to reflect on who makes up your support team and who you might need to add to your team. We were created to be in community with others and having a good support team helps us through the tough times.
You learned about mentorship and the critical role it plays in leadership. Mentors can play different roles at different times, based on what your needs and goals are. It’s important to think about your goals and leadership needs, and reach out to mentors who can help you grow in these areas.
Authentic leaders are aware of the importance of staying grounded and are able to integrate the various aspects of their lives—their family, personal, professional, and community lives. When we are able to bring together the major elements of our lives, we can be a more effective leader in all aspects of our life. You examined the various aspects of your life and calculated the amount of attention you currently give to each area and the amount of attention you desire to give to each area. Finding ways to better integrate and balance your life will help you stay grounded and ensure you have strategies to stay centered, focused, and manage stress.
In Unit 7, we turn our attention to discovering our purpose and empowering others.
Checking your Learning
Before you move on to the next unit, you may want to check to make sure that you are able to:
- Identify who makes up your support team and establish a plan to grow your team if needed.
- Describe the importance of mentorship.
- Identify areas in your leadership you want to develop and who can help you achieve your goals
- Identify the characteristics of an integrated life.
- Determine ways you can balance the “buckets” (family, professional, personal, community, etc.) in your life.
- Understand how you can stay grounded as a leader.
- Analyze how your support team can assist you in leading an integrated life.